JOURNAL 4: NUDES 101

Yolla, due to the of occurrence of recent events I find it highly important to write this article. 

The one thing that has been troubling the teenage mind mind from the dawn of time, NUDES. In the days of the previous generation (our parents) , you would go up and down looking for a camera, take that sexy snapshot and mail it to the desired addressee. In previous times you would probably go to Leonardo da Vinci or Michaelangelo who would then draw a very colourful picture of God’s work then place it in a box and throw it into the window of the desired.

Nowadays, thanks to the crafty works of Lucifer (and Snapchat) sending those lustful aspects of photography has never been easier. All you have to do is strip and press a shutter and you’re good to go.

I won’t tell you shit about ‘O please don’t send nudes’ or ‘ The bible says it’s wrong’. Nag bruh! Imma train you how to do it and never get caught.

1. USE SNAPCHAT AND ONLY SNAPCHAT

This is technology’s gift to immorality. With Snapchat you can never get it wrong. The snaps time out, they have colourful squares so you know exactly what you’re getting and it’s perfect with strangers. 

I know you’re going to tell me hullabaloo about ‘YOU CAN STILL TAKE A SCREENSHOT ‘ but in real sense if you place the time out at 1 second who can really take screenshot that fast. Even The Flash can’t. OK maybe he can but who sends nudes to The Flash. 

And remember NEVER MAKE THE MISTAKE OF POSTING ONE TO YOUR STORY. 

2. NO FACE NO BIRTHMARKS NO TATS

Yeah, if you’re that type of shy ass nigga then you shouldn’t be putting your face up for grabs.

You see people get pissed at any time of their lives and if someone has a strong item of leverage against you they’ll probably lose it sooooooo. If you have ever sent a nude with any item of recognition it’s a ticking timebomb waiting to blow up on your Instagram.

The chick there is a mistake.

3. LET SOMEONE YOU TRUST TAKE IT

If you know you want that steamy pic to send to someone and a selfie just doesn’t do, then let someone you trust do it 


4. THEY SHOULD BE MUTUAL 

Don’t send shit if the other person aint sending shit. This is to avoid advantage taking as you won’t try something stupid if the other person got baggage on you 

As much as we try these steps people are stupid enough to get caught and to disastrous effects. 

Remember don’t hate. We were all born naked 

-NL

Remember don’t hate. We were all born naked 

-NL

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